to come back, to blog again, to start anew. You may have noticed that all there was is now gone, that is because all I have known is now gone. My marriage of 10 years is over. What once started as a loving relationship made a sudden turn last year into a very abusive one, it was bad. Bad for me, and bad for the children.
Last summer when my writing slowed and eventually stopped it was because I felt I could not write what was truly happening, I was censoring myself against the truth, protecting myself and others from what was really happening here, and afraid of the consequences that I would face if I shared our lives truthfully, and I was becoming tired of the lies, lies to myself, lies to the world and at the point where I just couldn't do it anymore.
So now I can lay it on the line, try to be who I am, or was, or want to be. I am facing the facts and moving forward. I have been living a new life, or at least trying to since the beginning of December, and I think I am finally ready to share again.
Last summer when my writing slowed and eventually stopped it was because I felt I could not write what was truly happening, I was censoring myself against the truth, protecting myself and others from what was really happening here, and afraid of the consequences that I would face if I shared our lives truthfully, and I was becoming tired of the lies, lies to myself, lies to the world and at the point where I just couldn't do it anymore.
So now I can lay it on the line, try to be who I am, or was, or want to be. I am facing the facts and moving forward. I have been living a new life, or at least trying to since the beginning of December, and I think I am finally ready to share again.
I don't know if you know this but you have been an inspiration to many of us who knew you some umpteen years ago. I have always admired your devotion to your family and your bravery in choosing to restore such a wonderful farm and embark on a life so less ordinary to those of us living at the beach in LA. I applaud all you have accomplished and I have often enjoyed reading your blogs and checking in from afar.
ReplyDeleteI am saddened to hear of the loss of your marriage, but I am so very glad you have chosen to share this new beginning with us. I know how hard such things can be. Here's to you, your family, all your endeavors and the season of new life!
Oh, hon, I had no idea. That sort of thing seems to have been going around--Victor and I broke up for about the same reason last year. I'll hold all of you in the light, and if you ever need anything, holler.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see you back to blogging...and it sounds like you're still on the farm! It's harder to run a farm with one person, but much more rewarding. Glad you're back. (Hi! to the children.)
I'm glad you're back! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI heard whispers in the wind but didn't think much of it until someone privately told me that you two were no more.My heart felt so heavy with sadness for both of you because yes I really cared for you both together and apart.I did see things I didn't care for at times but everyone has rough times now and then so I said nothing. I've been in your shoes and who knows maybe worse...you can talk to me if you need someone..I am here. You are a great little momma and a wonderful young woman with so much to give. Keep being who you are and you will find happiness again.
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